Every city has them. Some are out and proud and some are reliant upon those with a keen eye for adventure to find them. Some prefer a predilection for pomp, others fancy the fetishist in you and many may pass you by with no more than a wink and a pursed pout. Whatever their form and whatever your mission, they all have one thing in common - a source of solace we all look for in the reassurance of our most basic of human instinct, our most tribal of needs, to bond.
It's not such a queer thing then, don't you think, that we queer-folk bond just as particularly and peculiarly as any other tribe on this great big planet Earth. Big cities allow our tribes to congregate in exclusive empathy for each other, while in smaller towns we gladly bunch up together in a mutual show of mutiny against the mainstream. But what makes a queer club queer? Is there a queer-quota that must be observed or is it merely a case of first-poof-past-the-post calls the score?
Here's our roll call of the best. Go knock yourselves out ...
These simple house rules are our guide to best-practice-queer-clubbing:
1. First impressions count. The door bitch should never have to hide behind a clipboard. He/She should have an inherent sense of who's rockin' and who's not.
2. Mirror balls should always shower the dance floor in abundance. There's nothing more shoddy than a minimalist approach to glamour.
3. When it comes to entertainment, respect must always be shown for drag-time. Never rush a Queen.
4. Hard surfaces indicate a good time about to be had by all, for they are easy to hose down at the end of the night.
5. And lastly ... and most importantly, there's no excuse for thuggish security. Get thee back to hetero-hell yo-yobbo.