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Vampires Suck

movies|vampires%20suck|2010-08-26

A spoof of the Twilight franchise: angsty teen chick Becca falls for pasty coffin-sleeper Edward. Their union is tested by cross-cultural barriers and hairy rivals.

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Editorial

Funny thing about the guys who continue to bring us "spoofs" such as the neverending Scary Movie stories, Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans and their latest, Vampires Suck. The genres and subjects they needle do provide ample opportunity for sly digs and broad mirth. Just a pity the default setting for each film is always set so low a caterpillar would strain to squeeze underneath.

Writer-director team Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer - the white boy version of Scary Movie instigators Wayans Brothers - cling plagiaristically to the Twilight franchise, getting the bulk of its mileage from the wide-open target of Teams Bella, Edward and Jacob. If your idea of a good time is Edward Cullen being renamed Edward Sullen, or Jacob - are you ready? - White shapeshifting into a chihuahua, you're the person to blame for the existence of Vampires Suck.

Because it's easy to throw stones at Friedberg and Seltzer's continued reliance on instantly dated pop-culture jokes which have the depth of Justin Bieber's back catalogue - a Lady GaGa gibe? Side-splitting - we should admit they show signs of improvement with the spot-on imitation of Kristen Stewart's Bella. Debutante performer Jenn Proske is all lip-biting and hair-behind-ear-flicking as Becca Crane. Unlike everything else around her, Proske keeps her amusing Stewart-isms on the QT, only going OTT when her overseers demand the requisite sexualised content or cheap fallback of characters being battered for no great reason.

The Drew Carey Show's Diedrich Bader lands a few one-liners as Becca's inappropriate dad Frank but ubiquitous co-star Ken Jeong (The Hangover) better demonstrates how Vampires Suck favours shrill, juvenile farce over satire that will register longer than a Tweet. But you already know all of this, because Friedberg and Seltzer are nothing if not amazingly reliable.

Zach Gibson