Old Dogs

Editorial

The last time John Travolta teamed up with director Walt Becker, the duo ended up riding harmless/pointless biker flick Wild Hogs down the highway to the tune of $243 million worldwide. And while the sequel is currently being fuelled, tuned-up and fed at Hooters, the pair obviously saw merit in uniting once more before hopping back on their choppers for Wild Hogs 2.

As predictable as the fact that Old Dogs will feature dialogue such as “my bad” and rely on people getting hit in the nuts by golf balls for laughs is the fact that terms such as “lame” will be used to describe the film. But what do you expect when its funniest moment involves Seth Green being cuddled by a gorilla? That, at least, is worth a smile.

Not so the moment Dan (Robin Williams) enters a tanning booth and — gasp! — ends up turning browner than an M&M thanks to an operational mishap. And when he and Charlie (Travolta) discuss their complicated regime of pills and their side-effects, you can be sure that within minutes they’ll be taking the wrong ones by mistake, leading to all sorts of high jinks. It’s light entertainment in the truest sense of the word, being light on both laughs and substance.

As two lifelong friends and business partners, Dan and Charlie share a remarkably poor chemistry. Regardless, we’re asked to believe these two schmos are so in synch they’re capable of closing a $47 million business deal, the biggest of their sports marketing careers. Of course, this is just the set-up for the real crux of the story — the part that teaches us business isn’t everything, but family is. It occurs after Dan is contacted by an old flame who, rather than looking to renew their bond, instead wants to tell him he’s the father of her seven-year-old twins.

Quicker than you can say “fish out of water”, Dan and Charlie are babysitting the kids while mum does a two-week stint in jail, all the while trying to devote their attention to their Japanese soon-to-be business partners.

In the film’s favour is that the youngsters, Emily and Zach — the former played by Travolta’s real-life daughter — are likable rather than cloying. Green is, sadly, under-used, and the fact that everyone has to mug so hard for their laughs is an unfortunate consequence of the writing just not being funny enough.

Accordingly, this is nothing more than a mildly amusing, and instantly forgettable, minor distraction.

Rod Yates