Abduction

Editorial

For starters, Abduction is an excellent movie title, yet this isn’t the movie it should be attached to. When you discover what is going on, kidnap isn’t part of it. Oh, and how did Sigourney Weaver end up with some of the limpest dialogue heard in contemporary action films? Hang on a minute - why is our teen hero labelled a “freak” while being buffer and tougher than a shoeshine smackdown? And explain how catching an interstate train to flee villains is a shrewd idea?

Breathe. Okay, file Taylor Lautner’s first I’m-not-just-Team-Jacob outing in the pile marked: a tiresome “thriller” which provides persistent reasons to pull it apart/laugh mockingly/roll your eyes.

Had Abduction been made in the 1980s, like its high-concept pitch seems purpose-built for, it would have starred Christian Slater and been believably awesome. Instead, the tantalising tale of a teen having to hot-foot it when he suddenly learns his true identity has the propulsion and impact of burned toast.

Aside from the presence of Alfred Molina, Jason Isaacs and Mario Bello to keep hope alive, Boyz N The Hood director John Singleton’s wobbly actioner can do little to help its cause. An early scene involving Isaacs pummelling Lautner, followed later by the young blood being battered by an older assailant, epitomises how Singleton has no firm grip on the weird world between child abuse and teen uprising.

Even the Euro-chic powers of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’s Michael Nyqvist (as, imaginatively, the Euro-chic villain) fail to generate more than longing for better exchanges and set pieces.

Still, the lethal injection is mono-expressive Lautner. The girls might dig him (he’s shirtless for most of the opening 10 minutes) but his Tom Cruise-ish wardrobe doesn’t extend to owning the screen.

Within sporadic sequences of soggy action, Lautner languishes beside equally constricted Lily “daughter of Phil” Collins. Their most passionate scene is rudely interrupted by her deciding to go get something to eat, a non sequitur as unintentionally hilarious as it is a blatant ploy to push the narrative along.

Molina and his mature peers are better than all this glossy goop, yet they emerge largely unscathed (having provided Abduction’s few saving graces). Same can’t be gleaned from Weaver’s regrettable appearance as a counsellor. Her “okey dokey” response to EVERYTHING Nathan and his little lady have been through will go down as a catch-cry of ill repute.

Thanks goodness for the adults involved here, because this teen action dud only survives due to their credibility and presence.

Hilton Thomas