The Beginner’s Guide to Garage Sales

Editorial

There are those gifted, thrifty and godlike persons who live in houses uncluttered by crap. Then, there are the rest of us. We, the jumbled majority, are Martha Stewart's nightmare. We, the shovers of things into drawers, live perpetually in a future where we'll find a use for that broken garden gnome, unopened pasta machine and collection of "vintage" screwdrivers.

If you're untroubled by floors littered with old magazines and cupboards stuffed with seventeen brooms, all of which you purchased because you could never find one when you needed it, then, do nothing. If you feel a little choked, it's time to have a garage sale.

Many people, of course, will champion eBay and other online auction houses for sale of unwanted household goods. Certainly, if you have collectibles and curios that will tickle a niche clientele, online auction is great. But, if you want to get rid of all that rubbish in a single weekend, the yard sale is the fast path to cash and clutter-closure.

First, perform a stock-take. If possible, assign one discrete space in your house to hold every item you no longer want or need. Assess the stuff honestly. Is some of it so crappy that what you need, in fact, is a skip and not a sale? Is some of it so valuable that it must be given to eBay or consignment? Is your stock going to be, in fact, so paltry that a group sale with your neighbours is a better idea?

Next, choose your date. Unless you can accommodate customers under-cover, check a 28-day rainfall chart for a fine Saturday. And, clear your weekend of all other commitments. On Sunday, you'll wish to do nothing but dispose of remaining items, clean up the mess left by filthy punters and watch nonsense on telly to bury the memory of the previous day. Try to avoid the festive season or any time of year where people are geared toward conventional retail. Get 'em when they're bored and looking for a low-cost spend. By no means, avoid Saturday mornings that coincide with major sporting events, elections or public holidays. In my experience, these are wonderful days to seduce the passerby.

Then advertise. Local papers will, needless to say, attract locals and a good many local second-hand traders. Broadsheets and dailies tend to lure casual browsers from further afield. I recommend using both and tailoring your ad to each market accordingly. Use evocative words like "bric-a-brac" or "vintage" in the metropolitan paper and keep it straighter for the local. You can try free online advertising, but I'd recommend looking for print and web deals with your local paper. If you have the time, visit local businesses and community hubs and ask if you can place your (neat, friendly) sign on their notice-board or window. Then, on the evening before your sale, select on a map the most highly trafficked intersections in your immediate area with an arrow, the words "Garage Sale" and your street name. And, do be a decent citizen and remove these signs when the sale is complete. Oh, you might want to leaflet the letterboxes of your street. Neighbours are always dying to have a shufti and may pay five bucks for the privilege.

Assess security in the days before your sale. It is not prudent to include your phone number in your ad; but, of course, you must include your address. Dealers will knock on your door the minute they see your ad in the local paper and demand a preview of your wares. Then, on the morning of the sale, they will show up at least an hour before your advertised start time. I don't know why I pop the caveat "no early callers" in my ad as it never makes a dint of difference. Nor, by-the-bye, does the sign on the door, "no early birds, thank you!". Just say "no" benignly, ask the pest nicely for his business card and offer to let him know of items of interest by email. It's entirely possible they might relieve you of books, large furniture, crockery or whatever is their trade specialty. They're a pain and they're pushy but they might give you money. Once you've established they're legitimate traders and not, in fact, psychopaths with a cover-story, you can talk to them about your goods by phone. During the sale, practice caution and do not allow access to your home. If someone demands the loo or use of a changing area, come up with some nonsense like, "I'm afraid my infirm mother is inside and has asked not to be disturbed." Hint with a desperate tilt of the eyebrow that Old Mum is a dangerous monster who will feast on the flesh of any stranger within her ambit. Do look out for shoplifters; some bugger pinched a hair straightener, some fine bone china and a teddy bear at my last sale! Oh, and finally: a brief conversation with your home and contents insurance provider is a good idea before the sale.

Next price your items. Do yourself and your customers a favour and keep this simple. Offer all books, for example, at the same cost. Offer simple deals for multiple items. And, don't think you're going to get anything for your old clothes, for goodness sake. I've found the best way to shift textiles is to place plastic bags next to an enormous pile of old crap I no longer wear and a sign saying, "fill a bag for $5". People seem to get enormously excited by the candy-store approach to my foul old frocks. And, in turn, I am spared a trip to the St Vinnie's bin. Actually, keep this in mind as the hours tick by. When someone offers you ten bucks for grandma's biscuit tin you'd priced at fifteen, compare the effort of disposal against the concession to cost. I always tell myself, "they are paying me to take my crap away. Woo hoo." First, price your items fairly and simply. As the day proceeds, be flexible.

Do not underestimate the power of merchandising. While organising items in categories is important, don't forget what visual marketers call "adjacency"; that is, enhancing the value of one item by placing it next to another of greater value. If, for example, you have a lovely old Box Brownie or some mid-century cookware likely to attract interest, place it next to other items that have a little less retro lure. Build a relationship in the mind of customers between your top-of-the-range items and your hideous reproduction lava lamp. Help them make sense of your pile of junk. It certainly doesn't hurt to play a little music, either. I always go for Sinatra or Bachelor mood music from the mid century. Few are offended by these sounds and many are temporarily convinced they're somewhere chic instead of my concrete back yard.

Finally, get yourself a bum bag, a float of at least one-hundred-and-fifty bucks and collect plastic bags; most will refuse a bag but some will demand them. Be cheery and interested in people and listen to their stories and offer, if appropriate, stories about the provenance of the items you are selling. "We bought this on holiday,", "I've had that since I was a student and I'm glad to see it go to a good home", "I picked that up at a darling little vintage store in the country." Affirm customers' choices and make suggestions. Keep your wit and your warmth about you and wait for those bucks to walk in.

Helen Razer, (who made $1056 at her last sale) Citysearch