A Beginner's Guide to Car Maintenance

Editorial

No. Don’t do that. Before you click away faster ‘n a mechanic can say “that’ll be a $500 surcharge for my breathing of air near your dashboard”, this is not a guide to auto-repairs. Who do you think we are, NASCAR? I’m about as likely to tell you what to do with a carburettor as I am to have a child and call it Limited Slipped Diff. Relax. Here are just a few handy hints about the ongoing love of your car.

First, every thinking boy and girl should have a maintenance calendar. If we schedule professional affection for our car, we’re less likely to run into those unscheduled costly horrors. Of course, your dealership will happily recommend a roster of inspection, testing and basic repair based on mileage. You can take the advice of the bloke who sold you your car or, if you prefer, you can call or email the maker direct and ask them to recommend an ideal timetable.

If you’re buying a new vehicle, you could always chat to the salesperson about sweetening the deal with a few gratis check-ups. Why not? They’re throwing everything from iPod docks to car washes in free these days. You could talk your way up to a few complimentary tune-ups based on your “impact parameters”, that is, the type and frequency of use of your car. This is to say, if you’re driving 500 clicks a day on unpaved roads in the desert, you might need a little more care than me and my Corolla who rarely move beyond the supermarket.

Late auto technology means that our approach to auto-maintenance has changed. Once, there were little inspections and tasks we could easily perform to keep on the road and out of a costly garage. To my shame, I’ve never actually changed the motor oil on my ’04 car. Instead, I follow the maintenance schedule set out by the maker and I let the dudes in overalls do it for me. However, I have forced myself to check the level. Perhaps a little less perkily than this lovely lady.

One task we do need to learn, though, is how to change our windscreen wiper fluid. This helps us see the road cleanly and without the unhelpful lens of dead bugs. Seriously. It’s bloody dangerous to drive with filth in front of your nose. Do make sure your car is parked flat when performing this or any other basic maintenance task. And, please, do have your manual on hand. Even if your vehicle came without its guide, you can generally find PDF copies online.

Why not learn where your battery lives? Contemporary vehicles generally require no maintenance to the battery whatsoever; but it doesn’t hurt for you to learn where it is and to see that it’s not leaking corrosive fluids all over your baby. Anyhow. Have a looky-loo. And if you ever are in a situation where it’s feasible for you to change it, i.e. the thing died at home and you’re not in a terrible rush and you have someone to give you a lift to the auto shop, you should know that it’s really no more difficult than whacking new AAs in the bottom of the Wii Fit. You can save a bit doing it yourself.

N.B. Please be aware that changing your own battery obviates the need for the Roadside Assist man. This mean you will not be able to perve on the Roadside Assist Man. Ladies, if you do not mind giving up this pleasure, you might want to see if your local council offers free maintenance workshops.

In the innocuous new automotive era of outsourcing even the most basic maintenance tasks, one of the more hands-on things you can do is always ask your mechanic about your driving habits after a scheduled check-up. If your wheel alignment is frequently out-of-whack, for example, ask them what this might mean. The best act of maintenance for your car might be not racing over speed bumps.

Anyhow. Pop the hood, occasionally. If only to look convincingly butch and competent.

Helen Razer, Citysearch