A Beginner’s Guide to Hair Removal

Editorial

There are a lucky few who care not for the hair that sprouts from nostril, back and crack. These people are terribly evolved and must be applauded for shunning oppressive tradition. Sadly, we do not all have the mettle of Zach Galifianakis, Frida Kahlo and other honourees to the Hairy Hall of Fame. For many, the routine of depilation starts young.

It began for me on the hot asphalt of my high-school quadrangle back in the 1980s. Joanna explained that she could not possibly endure friendship one minute longer with a fourteen-year-old who did not shave her legs. That afternoon, against my mother's express wishes, I assaulted my teenage legs. They were etched more multiplicioutly than an Escher lithograph by blood. But, dude, there wasn't any hair on 'em.

Joanna and I never resumed our friendship but I had begun a lifelong habit of hair-removal. Mum always used to say, "Once you start, you'll never stop." And this is the common wisdom. We're told that shaving encourages faster, coarser hair growth. But, gadzooks!, in exciting news for men and women, this may not actually be true.

Ask a dermatologist and they'll tell you: shaving does not cause unsightly, profuse, thicker hair growth. If you're hairy, you're hairy. Shaving may, however, result in cuts, rashes and in compromising the texture of your skin. If you must shave assorted body parts, and these include your back or your arms or your face, choose a sharp razor and a good shaving gel, lather or oil and moisturise liberally.

And for, ahem, intimate areas, the brittle end of a newly shaved hair can cause discomfort to you and your, ahem, partner(s). This is where we meet Hot Wax.

Waxing, let it be said, is a wonderful, if expensive, solution for all body areas. A wax tends to last on back, chest, arms, legs and pink bits for around four weeks and when the hair re-emerges, it does so with a little more grace than that removed by a razor. When you do wax, however, you must exfoliate the area a few times each week to prevent unsightly, pus-filled ingrown hairs. This is not an expensive chore; just grab some rough mitts from the bathroom aisle and, if it is your fancy, a little something posh and sweet-smelling to aid the friction. I like to use just a dab of L'Occitane's Huile de Douche d'Amande which is an oily cleanser. Many others find that they like the coarseness of a kernel based foaming exfoliant; again, you can buy these at the supermarket quite cheaply. However, I am a lazy bugger and I prefer to use something which precludes the need for after-bath moisturiser.

Another quick word about post-wax exfoliation. Ladies. If you are having your face waxed never exfoliate more than once a week. And here, you don't want to skimp on product. Personally, I prefer to use a glycolic acid solution daily than a once-a-week scrub. Since I have been using the "Transport Pads" by Somme Institute, I have not had a single ingrown hair or zit. But, this stuff is impossible to buy in Australia and I make my American sister-in-law (bless her) send it to me. For britches less fussy, I recommend the Skin Doctors Gamma Hydroxy which is available at pharmacies and, at around $40 will last several months.

Choosing a waxer is fraught; particularly if you're aiming for a sensitive area. We all tend to respond to different people and different wax preparations differently. If you're working up to a genital or bum wax, try out an armpit wax first and see how you react. Ask the esthetician what sort of wax they use; if the answer is strip wax, cancel your appointment. If a paper of cloth strip is used the remove the hair on a sensitive area, then something is Terribly Wrong!

I can tell you that the best waxer in Australia is Melanie Pavone of Double Bay in Sydney. Ring Votre Beaute on (02) 9363 3234 as I do any time I'm within a 100 kilometre radius of this waxing genius. Pavone was doing Brazilians and Back Sack and Crack before these practises even had names. And while you may think these indulgences are all about vanity, anyone, male or female, who has ever epilated Down There will tell you that the practise is wonderfully comfortable and terribly hygienic in the warmer months.

A very good at-home solution is a good quality "epilator". I use the Braun Silk-Épil Xpressive and find that if I observe the exfoliation rule, it produces wonderful results. And, we should mention threading. Our sisters of the Ummah brought this practise from the Middle East and it is fabulous on eyebrows. I was quite agape at the neat results I achieved at a salon in Melbourne's Brunswick; I was far less impressed with the practise of "sugaring". As for permanent hair removal: I am yet to meet anyone thoroughly satisfied with laser results. There are those terribly hirsute people who have found their growth diminished but, really, it's a very expensive method still in relative infancy and is less effective on fair-haired or dark-skinned persons. Electrolysis, on the other hand, is a tested and permanent, if rather painful, means of removal. Here, exercise caution and speak with your dermatologist or GP about a recommendation.

Finally. A word about those chemicals in a tube that remove hair: Ewww.

Helen Hairless Razer, Citysearch